Who’s In Charge Here Anyway?

Posted by Ken

With the information I’ve read and the personal observations I’ve made, it’s easy to conclude that quite a few parents don’t get involved with the children’s life, let alone their online activities. Why is that, I wonder?

Could it be that we feel they’d feel impeded somehow? That to put constraints on them would mean causing them to fall short of their full potential? Gimme break!

It’s okay (and possible) to set guidelines that won’t leave your child feeling choked and you feeling guilty. Sure, it may be a struggle while things settle into a routine, but in the long run your child will be developing safe online habits and critical thinking skills.

Here are a few tips to get you going:

Don’t fall into the “not my child” syndrome. There’s only one perfect child in the world and every parent has one. They may think they know everything, and you may want them to be the smartest kid on the block, but the knowledge has to come from somewhere and it should start with you.

Get help. Okay so, as a parent, you don’t have all the answers. Don’t worry about that. Show you child that you care and FIND the information that’s needed to help protect you and your family.

Set limits. The Web is a big place, but you wouldn’t let your child go across the country unsupervised would you? Tell him or her the types of sites that you will allow them to visit…and what NOT to visit. There’s no room for vagueness, and if they’re in doubt, they should ask you before they go somewhere online.

Set limits (part 2). Is there a time you want them to be online or when you don’t want them to be online? How about only when you’re home?

Write up a contract. Make a formal pact between you and your child that symbolizes the importance of online safety habits. Outline what’s approved, what’s not approved, and the consequences for not abiding by what’s agreed upon.

Install monitoring software. Don’t gasp at the thought, it’s for everyone’s protection. Also known as parental control software, this will help protect anyone surfing at your home to steer clear of the filth that could be the next Web page over. It not only prevents intentional attempts at going to sites that aren’t acceptable, but it also prevents accidental attempts. No system is perfect, but it’s better than having nothing. There are a variety of services to choose from. Maybe your ISP (Internet Service Provider) has something already in place (make sure it’s enabled though). I plan on posting a review of some choices in the future.

Install a firewall. The hardware option would be your best line of defense, but there are some good software solutions that will offer you some security.

As parents we shouldn’t go to the extreme by letting our children run free while deceiving ourselves into thinking we’re doing the best thing for our child. Sure, there are times when we have to let them go on their own to experience things first hand, but let’s not confuse that with providing them with a strong foundation that will increase their chances to succeed in whatever they do.