Community Sites: Up Close and Too Personal

Posted by Ken

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MySpace. Xanga. Bebo. These are some of the social networking communities available on the Internet today. They’re gathering places for people to meet others and share interests. Although you’ll find that popularity is high among teens, you’ll also find age groups on either end of the spectrum.

The unfortunate truth about these spaces is that you can find out more about a person than you would if you were to meet them face to face. For example, countless members offer their full name, age, sexual preference (that’s right, sexual preference), what school they attend, their address (sometimes by street, others by city/state), and reveal a host of interests.

Some post their thoughts, or recount their events of the day, from the mundane to the exciting. Other’s like to post pictures of themselves. Perhaps with a friend, their pet, or solo. Even more troubling is that some of the photos you’ll find there aren’t the type you’d send home to mom.

There was one profile of a girl that I saw that said she was 18 years old. Yeah, right, and I’m 21! Of the handful of photos she had on her space, in a couple of them she wore less and less clothing with that, you know, “look”.

And get this: one of these communities displays on their home page a section called “Stay safe!”. It’s at the bottom, which to me means, “low priority”. That section references two articles by the same author. One is for what not to do online, the other is for cyberbullying. I guess putting personal information on your space and dressing like a tramp are okay. Looks like I’ll have to make some changes to these topics on my site — not!

So why does this have to be? The answer is: it doesn’t, not if parents get involved.

I’m not against these services providing a means for people to get together; truly, I think it’s great. But what does it say about our society when we have teens growing up in a world thinking that it’s okay to pose provocatively? To speak or write with foul language? To inform the world about their interests and personal details? It’s the online equivalent of a big neon sign saying, “Come and get it!” to sexual predators.

I think it says that parents have become lazy in raising their children. I think it says our teens have a narrow view of the threat they’re exposing themselves to. I think it says that people, in general, have allowed our society to become flooded with corrupt morals and imagery in the name of self-expression and done so with a heavy dose of “don’t-tell-me-what-to-do”.

But these kids don’t see it that way. They probably think only their friends will see the information they post. And they’re not worried about their parents viewing it because they never go online. Am I right?

Let’s not forget that the people you see on these communities may not be the people they’re showing themself to be. It’s not beneath a sex offender to put on another identity to befriend their next victim.

What’s the bottom line I’m trying to reveal here? Parents: ask your kids if they have a profile on one or more of these communities or similar ones. And if they do, go see what type of information they’ve got out there. Also ask if they have more than one profile on the same community. Perhaps they have a cleaner version for just such an occasion?

Determine what changes, if any, are needed. Plus, make it clear what information they can and cannot make available to the public and, this is important, have them agree to it. This is NOT an invasion of privacy. We, as parents, have a responsibility to put our kids back on track when they’ve gone astray. In some cases, it may not be easy, but I have to believe that in all cases, it’s the right thing to do.