I recently read an article about how photos of Miley Cyrus (a.k.a. Hannah Montana) have surfaced and gained a lot of attention. You may recall not too long ago how Miley’s photos — one in particular — caused a stir in the magazine Vanity Fair. Now another batch of photos have come to light, but these are of her own doing.

They were found on her alleged MySpace profile. Whether or not it was her account, it makes no difference. These photos are Miley Cyrus. This troubles me in a couple of ways.

First, why do kids feel so compelled to do these sorts of things? My answer is that it’s a lack of parenting in a strong way. Parents are more inclined to be their kid’s friend than to tell them “no” to something.

I suppose if it weren’t photos, then it would have been something else. I mean, certainly kids over the centuries have made bad choices, but to do something like posing provocatively in photos that the whole world can see?

Second, this tarnishes her image even more causing her to be taken down a few notches in the role model department. This is the one that troubles me most because she’s sending a message that it’s okay to pose in a sexual manner and post it for everyone to see. How many more kids will post their photos in the coming weeks simply because they saw Miley do it?

One might say that the photos aren’t that bad. By themselves, that may be the case, however, what will they lead up to? What are your thoughts?

The article I read told the story of eight teenagers (EIGHT!) who lured another student into a home…and simply beat her…for 30 minutes.

Besides YouTube being involved, MySpace was somehow at the beginning of the story. Apparently, one of the attackers hacked into the victim’s MySpace account, not once, but twice. I didn’t see any details about that activity, but when you hear something like that, it’s usually because the hacker wants to defame the account and/or pretend to be the person (the victim in this case) and start something.

During the attack, the girl was pleading with them to stop. She tried to leave, but was kept from the door. Two boys were outside keeping watch, while the six girls remained inside taking turns using the girl as a punching bag. At one point, you could hear one girl in the background, “Not the shelf, not the shelf!” That must have been the girl who lived there and didn’t want her stuff messed with. Beating the girl was okay, but the fragile glass shelf had to be protected.

I am sickened by this and I hope in some way that this finally causes people to wake up and realize just how bad things are with some children today. They’re desensitized to violence, have weak and distorted values, if any. They’re willing to throw their lives away in exchange for a few minutes of one infamous event.

I won’t link to the video, but I have provided the video of the parents who have spoken out against this tragic event. At the end of the video, the father said that at one point his daughter was pleading to be beaten by just one of them. The response by the attackers was, “No, we’re all going to beat you.”

Pure evil.

Well, I just learned of some more trouble. According to an article in the New York Times, a former Vice President of Stickam, Alex Becker, has accused the company of not doing enough to protect their members. In fact, the same company shares office space — and sometimes employees — with online porn companies.

The parent company of Stickam is Advanced Video Communications. They own several popular pornographic web sites, some using web cam technology.

So what?

Whether or not the allegations Mr. Becker is making are true, it cannot be denied the danger that lies ahead for unsupervised teens using a service such as Stickam. I’m sure there are many people who use it responsibly; I’m not worried about them. My concern is for those who are being rebellious or adventurous. The article also reported that people are frequently asked to remove their clothing.

Bottom line

Kids alone with computers in the privacy of their own bedroom can be a potentially dangerous mix. And that word “private” doesn’t really mean much, does it? After all, that web cam is a window into their room. Even without the web cam, the computer is just that: a window into your home.

What’s your response? Am I being too harsh on Stickam?

[tags]stickam,web cam,technology,family,teens,privacy[/tags]

As the name implies, Parenting Teens is an informative web site to be the place parents turn to for help with their teens. The site provides a collection of articles that cover numerous topics related to teen issues: drugs, divorce, sex, relationships, education, behavior modification schools, and health.

This collection of articles is written by parents with teens of their own. That’s precisely why I believe you’ll find words of encouragement, different approaches to issues being experienced by other parents, and the realization that you and your teen are not alone.

Has your child become the center of attention for a bully? How about depression? Does your child suffer from an eating disorder? You’ll find information about these issues and lots more on their site.

A forum is provided as well to post, read, and exchange tips and information. Admittedly, it’s not what I would call stocked with information, but then again, forums are indeed difficult engines to get started. It will grow over time with the proper care and attention.

It is important to note that no claim of medical or therapeutic advice is given. However, they are willing and able to direct you to their site’s sponsor for these and other issues.

This has been a sponsored review.

[tags]parenting,teens,behavior[/tags]

This social community advertises itself as a safe haven for girls looking to interact with others their own age, and to see the world “through the eyes of other girls”. And from what I’ve seen so far, they live up to that promise.

College students are hired to monitor every bit of information that is being transmitted on its site. So you won’t find any photos with provocative poses or trash talk. Finally, a site that gets it!

When you first land on the site, the first thing you’re going to notice is that there’s no shortage of eye-candy. Every page has something to catch your attention or provide you with something to do. Quite fitting for the tweens of today.

Denise’s 13-year-old daughter, Ally, is the host and spokesperson. Kudos to her for putting her time and effort into something that benefits other girls her age and for providing an alternative to the likes of MySpace or Facebook. (No offense to those sites, but I’ve posted before the kinds of trouble you can run into on those places.) Besides: who’s better qualified to run a site for teenagers than a teenager?

Parents will be pleased with the rules they’ve posted to instruct girls on the do’s and don’t's. They even address parents directly describing what a girl can get out of becoming a member. Here’s an excerpt:

All Girls, except mean girls are welcome on AllyKatzz. It’s where girls go to:

• Tackle real issues and find new ways to solve problems
• Express and share their opinions, ideas, concerns, hopes and dreams
• Connect – Find Their Voices and Each Other
• Discover their strengths
• Be Creative and ignite ideas!

A section of the site offers a place to share advice on some pretty deep issues: boy trouble, eating disorders, parent disputes, etc. It’s no substitute for professional help (nor does it pretend to be), but there is some comfort a girl can find knowing that others are experiencing the same things she is.

Worth noting: Ally’s page has a question that remains open for girls to enter comments that answers the question, “What do you want to do in your life?” I kid you not: as of March 1 of this year, there have been 526 replies posted. You think they’re seeing a little activity over at AllyKatzz?

I think this site is worth a visit from you and your daughter.

I’m interested in hearing any of your experiences with AllyKatzz, so please leave a comment and share.

[tags]blogging,network,social community,networking,blog,website,teens,tweens[/tags]

When reading their “What is Stickam?”, it talks about how you can place streaming video, music, and live video chat on your site or blog with relative ease. What I find interesting is that they’re not playing up what I think most teens would be most interested in and that’s the ability to login to chat rooms and interact with other people while actually viewing them via web cams.

It’s really almost like sitting across the table from someone and having a conversation with them — really boring conversation at times. Maybe I’m too old to see the value in such jabbering:

Austin: heyy sup ya’ll?
* lemonfrog joined the room.
my_squeaky: hey
* 19733 joined the room.
* patrick82803 joined the room.
vindicative: CHRIS
* Austin left the room.
vindicative: Whos calling me
* patrick82803 left the room.
* 19733 left the room.
revengexx: I HATE THAT MOVIE
revengexx: gawd tht was creepy
revengexx: IT WAS SCARY
punkface aka cupcake: no it was awsome
* prettypantsx left the room.

What do you think?

Keep in mind that you’re actually hearing other people talk while viewing others typing in their conversations just like regular chatting.

It was apparent that some of the participants that I viewed were teens in their bedrooms. That’s a big strike against the parents! Leaving a kid alone in their room with a computer connected to the Internet is not a good combination.

So what’s the harm in people getting together to discuss whatever crosses their minds? Well, what it comes down to is that Stickam is another place to see and be seen by others, which makes it a perfect place for sexual predators to go shopping. Parents need to be aware of places like this and talk to their child about it, should they have an interest in hanging out there.

While playing the innocent bystander in a chat room, I got kicked out for not participating. That was a surprise, but I do find that an interesting feature. Comparing it to offline interaction, it’s the equivalent of some stranger standing next to you listening in on your conversation. In retrospect, that probably seemed pretty rude of me to just “stand” there.

So what’s the take-away on this for parents? Quite simple, really: be careful when you let your kids visit places like Stickam. Chatting has it’s own risks, but when you add web cams to the mix, it opens new doors to places that may be hard to navigate. Like any site, but particularly with online communities, I recommend the parent review what it’s all about and then decide next steps.

[tags]stickam,web cams,online community[/tags]

They all have one thing in common: they loved getting attention. They no doubt felt the euphoria of getting a piece of the spotlight.

With the opportunities the Internet has to offer, these attention-getters are increasing at an alarming rate. And they’re still doing it at the expense of others. It’s called “cyberbullying”, and its effects are quite possibly more painful than the physical kind and are definitely longer lasting because of the viral aspects it has when performed online.

Places like YouTube and MySpace offer a way for anyone to post video clips or photos of their targets. Say a couple of teenagers whip out their video-enabled cell phones and begin recording a school fight. That makes excellent fodder for their Web site because they know their friends will come visit, view it, and have a laugh. When you throw in the rest of the world viewers coming to see it and even rating it, what you have is positive reinforcement for these teens to do it again. It’s a vicious circle.

In fact, not long ago it was reported that just such a thing happened in North Babylon. A girl was to meet up with another girl, but found out it was a setup when three girls met her and proceeded to beat her up. And a wannabe teen cameraman was there to record it for a future audience. The video managed to find its way to the Web where people could view at their leisure.

I wonder how many other teens were inspired to choreograph something like that for someone they didn’t like at school. How many victims did this first video actually claim? Fortunately, arrests were made. Maybe they’ll learn their lesson.

And speaking of damaging behavior, there has been a growing trend among teenagers to destroy property for fun — and be stupid enough to record themselves doing it. (There was a time when I remember the fear of being caught doing something wrong was actually a strong deterrent from doing it. Anyone else remember those days?) True, this has less to do with bullying others, and more to do with just getting a little fame, but still damaging behavior, nonetheless.

One such activity is “fence plowing“, where a few kids take a running start toward a wooden fence, thus plowing it to the ground.

These are the minds that will one day being running the country. Brilliant.

The same online stardom awaits them. “Post it and they will come,” is the voice that whispers to them.

Parents have to get involved if there is any hope of getting children back on the right path. That means they have to become familiar with their online activities and setting ground rules. Determine what sites they can and cannot visit. Install parental control software to enforce those rules. Check the history being recorded by the software to actually see where there kids are going online.

Their offline activities are equally important. I’m the first one to admit that getting your kid to talk about personal things is hard work. There’s always the struggle of the child not wanting to admit they need help because they’re developing their independence. And parents find it hard to communicate for fear of not knowing the answers to their child’s problem. But just like anything else worth doing, it will get easier over time for both parent and child.

If parents and kids started acting more responsibly together, the result, in my opinion, would be time spent on things that meant something. There’s no value in harming someone else or hurling yourself against a fence.

[tags]cyberbullying,parenting[/tags]

Excuse me? These parents are too embarrassed to admit they failed to supervise their own children and left them to roam around in a “virtual mall” where other teens and sexual predators hangout, and they’re upset at MySpace? Gimme a break!

Sure, there’s an abundance of trashy content on MySpace, and I do feel like they could do more to remove it, but to publicly announce that they — not their kids nor themselves — are responsible for what happened to these kids is absurd.

Each time someone goes to court to blame someone else for their own actions (or inactions), it sends a message that says, “I made a bad decision, but I want somebody else to take the blame.” We see or hear about it all the time in the news. Somebody uses a product incorrectly, gets injured because of it and gets millions for it. Or an old lady spills hot coffee in her lap while driving away from the fast food place, sues the fast food place and is set for life financially.

What happened to accountability? What happened to “I messed up, but now that I’ve learned from my mistake, I won’t be doing that again.”?

Here’s my theory. Parents today are too busy trying to be friends with their kids instead of parents. The “Ward and June Cleaver” method of parenting has almost become extinct. Yes, things have changed since the black-and-white TV world of Leave it to Beaver. There’s lots more to do, more technology and so on, but that shouldn’t excuse us from being good parents.

With so many people suing over every little thing and winning, where’s the motivation to do the right thing any more? It has become so much easier to cry foul and get paid for it, than to have justice served.

You could almost say that there’s fame in shame, but if these people had any shame at all, they’d tuck their tails between their legs and start working on becoming better people, better parents, and setting the example for their kids, who will in turn set the example for their kids.

[tags]MySpace, sexual abuse, sexual predators, parenting[/tags]

Overall, I think Veoh has a good interface with which to find topics of interest, but it’s all too easy to find videos that, in my opinion, are inappropriate for young eyes. While I didn’t find nudity, some of the clips came awful close. Young women dressed in skimpy clothing, posing seductively, and bearing more than I think a parent would feel comfortable with if their child were sitting there with them watching. Not that that’s what Veoh is all about. There are tons of other clips from well-known TV shows, cartoons, and more.

But even taking all that into consideration, and in comparison to YouTube or MySpace, I have to say that Veoh does rate a little higher in my book because it does appear that the site owners are doing a better job of monitoring their content.

Parents should beware that this site, just like the aforementioned sites, are very appealing to teens, in particular. This appeal is, in part, due to their desire to express themselves and find other like-minded teens. Plus, it gives them bragging rights to their friends (“Look what I posted!”). So if you’re teen is someone who likes to dance around in their pajamas with their girlfriend to a gangsta rap song, then this may be a place for them.

What? I’m not making this up. The Web brings all kinds together and so I’m not kidding when I say that I found two girls videotaping themselves as described above. Without getting into too much detail, suffice it to say that I got the impression that either one of the girl’s parents weren’t home or were just clueless to have let this go on.

Now, this scenario should disturb parents, not that it was a vulgar video (although, the rap song was trash), but that these girls were thinking more of the “coolness” of the act than the actual consequences of it. Remember, sites like Veoh, Myspace, and YouTube are the equivalent of window-shopping to tech-savvy pedophiles. Searching is easy, so you can hone in on an alarmingly granular level. You find the video, you comment on it, the kid who posted might be curious enough to respond, maybe even strike up a conversation via other means.

Parental tips

• Even if you don’t think your child would post anything about themselves online, let alone a video, talk to them about it anyway.
• You have less control over what your child does at a friend’s house, so set ground rules with your child.
• Ask the friend’s parent if they’ll have unsupervised access to the Internet and request that they be supervised if they’re going to use it at all.
• What a kid knows to be wrong at home may actually go unnoticed or seem not so harmful at a friend’s house. To avoid being labeled “uncool”, kids could be under a lot of pressure to comply with the request of others. So maybe a reminder wouldn’t hurt.

Netsmartz is site that offers information about all sorts of topics related to Internet safety. As I was browsing their site I came across video clips describing real life stories of victims of cyberbullying. In their own words, these victims tell of the horror they lived and explain how they felt so helpless.

Back to the story: she had given her password to her best friend, who then gave it to a group of popular girls in school. The hope of being accepted by this group was motivation enough to betray a dear friend.

After logging into her account, these girls sent emails containing a nude picture of their victim — only it wasn’t her. These girls had manipulated an image downloaded from a porn site and put her head on it. Sad: they know more about Photoshop than how treat others with respect.

Think about this for a minute. Can you even imagine the humiliation she must have felt when she went to school the next day? What if this was your daughter or son? All the staring going on must have been unbearable.

This isn’t something that can go away with a simple, “Oh, it really wasn’t me.” No, once it’s out on the Web, it spreads like wildfire to anyone and everyone. And it serves to inspire others to do even more damaging behavior. Sickening.

Cyberbullying is about power; it’s about feeling in control. The Internet offers anonymity like never before, and bullies find that extremely attractive. Because they can inflict harm to others without showing their face, they feel empowered to do or say things they would never dream of doing.

Parents – what can you learn from this?

• Communication between you and your child, though tough at times, is critical. This is important no matter what side of the issue you’re on: victim or victimizer. Talk to them.
• Get to know where your kids are going online and set boundaries like where they can and cannot go, or time limits for how long they can be online.
• Has your child suddenly become silent, seemed removed? Even if cyberbullying is not the case, this is a sign that parents often overlook. Go for a walk, get some ice cream — whatever, just get involved.
• Teens and adults should never give their password to anyone especially for things like email.
• If your child does receive offensive messages, or finds that their identity has been compromised, save what information you can to be used as evidence later.
• Don’t reply to offensive emails!