The thing that gets me is why 90,000 all of the sudden? Why not delete them on a regular basis? True, they may be doing that behind the scenes, but with an announcement like this, one is inclined to think this is more of a PR tactic.

With all the hoopla over MySpace cleaning house, people are looking to Facebook, another extremely popular social network, to see if they’ll respond in kind. Actually, MySpace is the one who is trying to get them to make a move and it’s not a stretch to believe that Sentinel is attempting to force Facebook into becoming a client of theirs.

MySpace made a statement declaring their leadership position and hoped “that Facebook follows our lead in providing their members with the same protections.” Sounds a bit unfair to me that they would say that, but all Facebook has to do is start cleaning house too, whether it be with the support of Sentinel or some other company.

It’s no surprise that these two communities out of the many out there are places for sex offenders to groom their next victim. It’s encouraging to see, though, that the likes of MySpace are trying to make a difference given that they’ve had a history reported in the media about tragic meet-ups among the offenders and children.

And that’s just the ones who were — excuse me — stupid enough to put their name out there for the authorities to see. I would think it would be virtually impossible to discover the ones who were a little more discrete.

This should be a wake-up call to caring parents who need to know what danger lies within this community. I’m not making a blanket statement that MySpace is all bad, but if you spend a few moments browsing the profiles you see on there it wouldn’t be long before you come across something, shall we say, unsavory.

Just like cyberbullying, the Web offers a feeling of freedom not normally found in the offline world. Just as it’s easy to harass someone online using the Web and be anonymous, so too is the feeling one has when they are in the comfort of their own bedrooms providing all sorts of data for all the world to see.

What can you do?

• Ask your child if they have a profile on MySpace. If they do, try not to freak (again, I’m not saying everyone on MySpace is bad), but ask to see it and judge for yourself if it contains appropriate material.
• Set guidelines for what is appropriate and what is not appropriate to put on their profile.
• Have them require visitors to be part of their network, thus requiring a login. At least this way some control is involved with who can see the information. And have them connect with only friends they know in real life.

I’ve viewed profiles on MySpace and have witnessed first hand that kids can put content of themselves that they wouldn’t think of showing mom and dad in a million years. Provocative poses, shots of inappropriate behavior, information about where they go to school or live, their cell phone number, and lots more.

What I’m suggesting here is not to eliminate their freedom of expression. I don’t think that’s even possible with kids today even if we tried. But it’s more about teaching them the difference between right and wrong. So many times kids think it’s only their friends who are viewing their information on their profiles. Not so, unless they’ve only limited their profile to be viewed by their friends.

[tags]MySpace,sex offenders,pedophiles[/tags]

Excuse me? These parents are too embarrassed to admit they failed to supervise their own children and left them to roam around in a “virtual mall” where other teens and sexual predators hangout, and they’re upset at MySpace? Gimme a break!

Sure, there’s an abundance of trashy content on MySpace, and I do feel like they could do more to remove it, but to publicly announce that they — not their kids nor themselves — are responsible for what happened to these kids is absurd.

Each time someone goes to court to blame someone else for their own actions (or inactions), it sends a message that says, “I made a bad decision, but I want somebody else to take the blame.” We see or hear about it all the time in the news. Somebody uses a product incorrectly, gets injured because of it and gets millions for it. Or an old lady spills hot coffee in her lap while driving away from the fast food place, sues the fast food place and is set for life financially.

What happened to accountability? What happened to “I messed up, but now that I’ve learned from my mistake, I won’t be doing that again.”?

Here’s my theory. Parents today are too busy trying to be friends with their kids instead of parents. The “Ward and June Cleaver” method of parenting has almost become extinct. Yes, things have changed since the black-and-white TV world of Leave it to Beaver. There’s lots more to do, more technology and so on, but that shouldn’t excuse us from being good parents.

With so many people suing over every little thing and winning, where’s the motivation to do the right thing any more? It has become so much easier to cry foul and get paid for it, than to have justice served.

You could almost say that there’s fame in shame, but if these people had any shame at all, they’d tuck their tails between their legs and start working on becoming better people, better parents, and setting the example for their kids, who will in turn set the example for their kids.

[tags]MySpace, sexual abuse, sexual predators, parenting[/tags]

And these aren’t dirty old men in trench coats waiting to flash passersby. As I’ve stated here many times, they’re successful people, prominent people with high-paying jobs, respectable jobs — with despicable interests.

In case you haven’t seen the show, an actress (of legal age, mind you) is paid by MSNBC to pose as a 13-year-old girl in a chat room. Like moths to a flame, predators come to speak in no-uncertain terms about wanting to do sexual things with her. She tells them her age, and invites them to her home claiming that her parents are away. Well, her parents aren’t home, but a camera crew is.

The invited shows up to find the girl. They exchange a few words and she makes a quick exit to “change into something more comfortable” and out comes TV correspondent, Chris Hansen, wanting to talk with the man asking why he’s there. By then it’s too late. The cops are waiting to arrest him.

Some of these predators have feelings of remorse:

Officer: And it was a set-up. Why did you come if it wasn’t to have sex with a 13-year-old girl?

Predator: Just, you know, I was being naive. I didn’t think it would actually happen. I just ruined my entire life over something I knew was wrong. There’s no explanation. There’s no excuses. Everything I’ve worked for up until now and here on out is destroyed. Because—

Officer: ‘Cause you wanted to have sex with a 13-year-old girl.

Predator: ‘Cause I didn’t use my head.

Another predator tries to deny it outright:

Hansen: I’ve got entire transcript here. And no place does it say that she’s 19. I mean, you can go through it. If you find it you can tell me.

Predator: No, no. I believe you. How old did she say she was?

Hansen: 13.

Predator: Wow. Are you serious?

Hansen: She says that right off the get go here.

Predator: I was actually home at that time really drunk.

Hansen: Right.

Predator: I probably didn’t even pay attention to that.

Hansen: So you didn’t even notice that she was 13.

Predator: I didn’t.

Hansen: Yeah.

Parental tip

This stuff is real folks. If your child has had any experience, whatsoever, with chatting online, make sure you strike up a conversation with them to find out more. In fact, don’t wait — just do it now to set them straight early.

According to a study done by i-SAFE, 10 percent of teens have been approached online by strangers soliciting sex. That doesn’t mean these kids are to blame. What it does mean is that people are out there who are clever and try to break down a kid’s common sense in an effort to satisfy their (the predator’s) urges. Chat rooms and instant messaging are the tools of choice to get into your home and drive a wedge between you and your child. Close that door now!

Start talking and keep talking with your child to warn them of the dangers that await them online and to keep tabs on where they’ve been. The Web isn’t all bad; you just need to know how to navigate it.

It has been all over the media, but in case you hadn’t heard, it was reported last week that Mr. Foley of Florida was sending inappropriate and sexually explicit emails and instant messages to pages — under-age pages.

I can’t even imagine what must have gone through the minds of these kids. To have received a message from a superior — one who was responsible for helping to run our government — that was sexually suggestive must have been like a slap in the face. Foley wrote to one page that he would like to remove their clothing. Another message encouraged them to get comfortable by lounging around in their boxers.

“What do I do?” must have run across their minds. “Do I play along because if I don’t I could lose my job.” No kid should be making such decisions, and no adult should be putting them in that situation to begin with.

It’s truly sad that one could be troubled enough to delve into such acts — and with a child no less! But when you look at the heart of the matter, all this should remind us that the image of the dirty old man isn’t so dirty on the outside anymore. He’s not the one wearing the trenchcoat behind the bushes waiting to flash passersby. He’s the one in the suit, and he has money and power. He’s in our government, our schools, even our families. And he’s using a method of communication that often times gets overlooked by parents.

Parents should keep an eye on their kid’s cell phone bill to learn of how much they’re using instant messaging or texting. Some might say that asking to see their buddy list or what has been sent and received is an invasion of privacy. I say that you’re the parent and therefore responsible for the safety and well-being of your child. So you have the right to see whatever it is they do to ensure that they’re safe and that you’re doing your job. I hated hearing this as a kid, but now I see the wisdom of, “My house, my rules.”

Summary

• Kids are very much in tune with the latest in technology. Parents need to be as well.
• Keep in mind that these messages are being logged on some server hosted by your telecommunications provider. So if you or your child does get a disturbing message, you have some evidence to refer to. (Some of the messages Foley sent go back to 2003, and they’re just now coming to the surface.)
• Encourage your child (the earlier the better!) to come to you whenever something like this occurs. And if they do tell you, be sure they know that you know it’s not their fault.

Thankfully, there seems to have been no violence involved, but the girls were fondled or had sex with the men…men who were older than they claimed to be online.

Okay, let me get this straight. These girls were led to believe someone they met online was a certain age, then agreed to meet up with that someone. Stop right there. That’s the first mistake they made. Then they find out these men lied about their age. But instead of running away, they decided, “What the heck? I came here for a good time, so let’s just skip that age thing and get to know each other a little more intimately.” Do I have to tell you that was their second mistake?

Maybe news of how this sort of thing can end up in death hasn’t made it’s way up to Connecticut.

For every kid you find who uses common sense online, you find maybe half a dozen others who don’t. What is it about our society (about parents?) that has just thrown all sense out the window?

Maybe you’re old enough to remember what a PenPal is. I wasn’t much into that when I was a kid, but I’ve heard of people meeting with their counterparts. I think it’s reasonable to assume scenarios like the ones happening on MySpace existed back then, it’s just that the Web has not only made it easier and faster, but even deadlier because you can be so much more convincing online in ways that you couldn’t in a letter. Using good judgement was just as important when using that form of communication. But, alas, I’d venture to say that good judgement cannot be found in abundance in certain places on the Net.

MySpace and other communities like it may have a plus side, but believe me when I say that positive side is being overshadowed by the way it can be abused and how it can assist in abusing others. It’s a place that invites sexual predators with open arms, allows X-rated material to be easily accessible by anyone who visits (I’m not kidding when I say that!), and if it does enforce it’s own policies, then it does them in a lazy way.

Talk to your kids. Let them know you care about them and reaffirm with them that they’re not to give away their personal information — or anyone’s for that matter. Get involved with their lives. This simple act could be all that stands between them and becoming a victim.

Don’t get me wrong. I think chat rooms are great, but anyone using them needs to be responsible enough to know when enough is enough and sign-off when the topic becomes something inappropriate like cybersex.

Despite this wickedness that goes on in the pedophile’s mind, this topic needs to be addressed so that we’re all aware of what goes on. So the more you know about it, the better you can protect yourself and family.

Officers posing as young girls report that the kind of guy they’re talking to in chat rooms wants to “be your first” and to promise you gifts. These chat rooms are legal and are blatantly labled with their topic of interest. For example, accordingly to an article I recently read, one of them is “Child Sex Slave”. Pedophiles often have several chat conversations running simultaneously. Quite the multi-taskers, aren’t they?

What does it say about our world where you can openly discuss or participate in any form a topic like this? Hey, I’m all for free speech, but come on, let’s show some restraint and dignity. When did “freedom of speech” become “freedom from all moral responsbility?”

These pedophiles figure they have anonymity. It’s a temporary joy, really, because their messages can be traced back by law enforcement officials.

One of the troubling things this video brings to light is that teens oftentimes willingly seek out the thrill of meeting up with someone they’ve only known online. It also shows that even though your family computer may be in an open area of the house, it does you, the parent, no good if you don’t pass by it from time to time to see what they’re really doing. Even then, you should always be active in asking them to show you what they’re doing.

It’s not prying—it’s caring and protecting your child when you do this.

These criminals are not the old man in the grey overcoat waiting on the playground. These are businessmen, the person sitting in the cube next to you at the office, single or married with children, or your next door neighbor. So forget about trying to figure out who to avoid by basing your decision on how a person looks.

Here’s a brief summary of the tips you’ll get from this video:

• Children should not use online profiles offered by Web sites and/or services (nor should adults, for that matter). Kids don’t know not to provide revealing information about themselves that can help predators learn about them.
• Avoid sending photographs, even seemingly innocent ones. It encourages the criminal to ask for more.
• Keep the computer in an open area within your home, NOT in his or her room behind a closed door.
• Explain to your child that computer use is not confidential.
• Have access to and regularly monitor your child’s e-mail account. Of course, you’ll want to notify them that you’ll be doing this.
• Check your browser Internet history to learn where your child has visited.

The video can be viewed online or a copy could be mailed to you by request. Check out the site for details.

View the video

An officer tells about his undying attempts at finding a little girl, now 12, who has been sexually victimized and has had her picture circulating on the Web for three years. She’s so popular (I hate using that term when considering the context of it), that she’s something of a collector’s item. Her audience has watched her grow up online. The officers explains that the look in her eyes has become distant.

Like so many officers hunting these criminals, their work day begins with entering chat rooms to strike up conversations with pedophiles. The officer doesn’t have to try very hard or even at all sometimes before the topic quickly turns to questions of sex, and nude photos begin to be exchanged. And get this: the chat room is on a topic totally unrelated to sex. The one mentioned in the article was on “education”.

A new approach has entered the investigation.

The girl has been digitally removed from some of the photos. This struck me as odd, but as I read on, I saw the wisdom of this move. What the officer was trying to do was to: 1) be able to show the photos to people who might be able to help, and 2) focus on the environment itself in the hope of somebody recognizing it. For example, people might be able to identify something in the hotel rooms she was in which might provide a clue as to what hotel and where.

In another example, some other clue in the photo might help identify the geographic location. Investigators have already made inquiries to experts about the types of trees in the photo to learn of possible locations. The article mentions that in at least one situation, a toddler (yes: a toddler!) was tracked down because of a subway ticket found in one of his photos.

Pretty smart!

You can’t do all that without showing the disturbing content in the photos. And showing the photo with the girl in it could put her in danger by alerting offenders that the police are on their tail.

The good news is that through the efforts of Bill Gates of Microsoft, a database has been developed to help investigators with their work. It reduces duplication of effort and helps cross-check the data they find.

Read the article

Information is provided on what to do and what not to do when chatting with someone online. Good advice for teens and adults follows:

• People you meet online are still strangers. Becareful at all times because despite the time you’ve spent chatting with them, they could still be a totally different person than what you were led to believe.
• Don’t give any information about yourself or your family to anyone who asks. Never!
• If you feel uncomfortable about what someone is asking you to do or the way they’re speaking to you, then get your parents involved immediately.

You can also find some eye-opening accounts of what happened to some children who weren’t careful when chatting to people.

But not everything is dark. Kids in particular will find the games entertaining and informative.

Visit ChatDanger now!